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Vaguely Amusing

Scoping (but not scoring)
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Penned by Katie
 
Corona and Lays never looked so good.

   It was a hot day, the kind of day that melts painted faces.  As I lay upon my towel, I became keenly aware of a presence beside me, blocking my sun. My eyes darted quickly so as not to call attention to myself but soon my gaze was fixed.  They were three men, slightly past prime.  Like cheese that has hardened at the corners.  One man, the first to speak while brushing his long brown hair (circa 1997 and reminiscent of early Nick Carter) aside. 
"God- it's fuckin' hot.  Shit man." His words sent thrills coarsing through my veins, I must listen more. 
"Yes. I'm lookin' and I'm likin'." Added his companion (just a friend-man).  This man was vaguely lean, but only by heredity.  He toted a bag of Lays faithfully at his hip. 
"Fuck yea man.  Lots of good ones." Nick Carter Hair said. 
       Nick Carter Hair seemed the ring-leader but I was quickly mistaken.  The true leader spoke few words but their weight was worth that of liquid gold. 
"Dude. Shit. 9 O'clock, girl in the pink. Check her out. Oh shit man, she looks like Angela. Shit, I haven't seen Angela in three years man."
         Angela-I pondered.  She was a woman that they would have obtained in their prime, yet alas, Corona and their lean friend's Lays had taken their toll.  Leader sucked in pretending to scratch his expanding belly but really just feeling the failure below his neck.  I noted his manboobs to myself. 
        It was at this time I slyly pulled my camera from my bag.  I needed proof of their existence.  I snapped a quick one, only to catch the ever-wandering eye of NCH.
       "Dude. That chick just fuckin' took a picture of me." he declared to Leader.
      "I've got something she can take a picture of..." he said untying his swimsuit.  I turned away and listened to them depart for a beachwalk. 
       "So fuckin' hot. We gotta go walk along the water man.  But that water is too shit cold. I am not goin' in." NCH stated firmly.
        "You're a fuckin' pussy.  But anyways let's scope." Lean by Heredity suggested. 
          "Hell yea."
          NCH's words were the last I heard for a long time.  They left me to revel, to ponder, and to hope that one day I would be blessed with the affections of man even half as cunning as those gents I now deem the Past Prime Prowlers.

Past Prime Prowlers
(L to R) Lean by Heredity, Nick Carter Hair, & Leader

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It all started over a crock of Maple Sauce.