Sketches

Careful or you'll hurt yourself.

Fashionably Feh

He came vaguely from eastern Europe. The only book he'd seen depicting Americans was a 1920's excercise pamphlet. He assumed most common US men wore mustaches and gelled hair, and figured he'd fit in damn well.

You Did What?!

I am absolutely appalled at what you are telling me. Horrified and appalled but I am attempting to mask it. Still though...I am horrified.

Come a Little Closer

Many men claimed to see her standing out on the widows walk waiting for her husband at sea. There was something haunting in her beauty and it was always awkward when she turned up during a sailors' party.

ENOUGH.

"So...is an ostrich a bird?" queried Marv uselessly. This comment proved to be the tinder for the spark that had been building inside Jay for years.

The Unwanted Kiss

Panic rose in her chest when she reached her doorstep after an excruciating night. With a shock of horror, she realized that Steve intended to kiss her goodnight. She winced, as thoughts of escape flashed helplessly through her mind and his face invaded hers.

We Need to Talk.

With those words, her face fell noticeably. Christen furrowed her eyebrows and was, for once, silent for a moment. A tear rolled down her pallid cheek. Finally speaking, she murmured, "I guess...keep the scarf." With that she thrust the knitting project, needles and all into his spidery white hands and ran in the other direction.

It's...Beautiful.

The tour guide finished his lecture and stepped back, allowing Ted to fully appreciate Mt. Rushmore in all its stony glory.

Honored.

He was the tallest man; had the broadest shoulders. Won the county fair strength contest for the last 12 years. No one dared argue with him, or comment on his blatant lack of intellect.

Novelty Shirt

Sure he said it was a joke. They all thought it was--just the same way he always joked about wearing his sunglasses at night (as an excuse to do so). No one raised an eyebrow, until he brought home Kelli, proudly clutching a Bratz purse in one hand and his arm in the other.

Bend Over, Charlie.

His name was Charlie and he'd done nothing noteworthy in his whole life. Yet because of his endlessly compliant and almost whipped nature, his name became a wussy insult across the world. He was the first Bend Over Charlie.

PAGE TWO / MORE SKETCHES

It all started over a crock of Maple Sauce.